The Strength You're Building Right Now

Trusting God Through the Heavy

It Doesn't Feel Strong in the Moment

I have been pushing myself more at the gym lately and by that, I mean - simply going.  Let’s be real, the smell of athletic shoes and sweaty gym bodies is not my natural environment. You’re more likely to find me at a coffee shop sipping an iced vanilla oat milk latte with some type of inspirational book in my hands. Or strolling through the plant section of the hardware store, genuinely concerned about any greenery with wilting leaves.

However, I know that there is a life-giving benefit to moving my body and I’m doing my best to take care of myself better now than I ever have. I’ve never been sculpted, but I do hope to move through my later years with a modicum of grace and strength. For that, I need to put in time building that ability now.

The only problem is strength doesn’t feel strong while you’re building it. 

It feels heavy, cumbersome, and can be rather exhausting.  I notice the aches and pains of growth. However, I’m locked into the process, despite the inconvenience, because I know it’s necessary.

Emotional and spiritual growth often feels the same way. It may feel awkward as you exercise mental muscles.  Developing emotional resilience helps you stay calm under pressure.  I've learned it can help with the ability to keep going, despite setbacks and challenges.  Emotional resilience builds persistence, healthy thought patterns, and overall wellness. 

This type of strength building looks like:

You may not have asked for training in character building, as challenging seasons tend to arrive unannounced with unscripted life lessons. They do offer to teach us resilience, grace and courage, though.  In fact, James reminds us that the trying of our faith works patience (James 1:3).  If only patience and faith were available on Door Dash, maybe this process would be quicker and easier.  Alas, we are going to have to work on building it one ingredient at a time.

Why This Feels So Hard

It isn’t always easy to navigate the process when you’re building emotional strength.  You’re outgrowing patterns, expectations, and old versions of yourself. Sometimes you’re also grieving a life you thought you would still be living. You’re learning how to make decisions on your own again.  You’re figuring out who you are without the life you once shared.  You’re challenging your comfort zone and forcing yourself to rethink instead of acting on your first impulsive feeling.

That tension? It’s growth.

In all honesty, if we were asked to carry this kind of weight, we would almost certainly say a firm and immediate, “No, thank you.”  I mean, we didn’t sign up for this lesson in the first place and now we’re expected to grow ourselves at the same time as we manage the twists and turns of life. Healthy coping strategies will not only help us now but give us a framework to pull as a resource in the future.  Let’s gently commit to the process. 

Strength Is Alignment

Alignment means choosing what is right over what is easy, even when no one else sees it.  God’s intention in our lives is that we stay the course, remain faithful, and finish strong.  In his message to the Galatians, the Apostle Paul reminds us that in due season we will reap if we faint not (Galatians 6:9).  It’s a call to stay committed, despite the detours. To be a loyal participant we will need a few key practices.

What This Looks Like

Building emotional strength looks like choosing alignment over approval.  It includes making healthy connections with others for social support.  For me, this looked like making and deepening connections with ladies at church who could understand my circumstance and had demonstrated faithfulness through their own hard seasons.  I asked each of them for coffee and took time to get to know them better one on one.  Because there were days I didn’t trust the ups and downs of my own thoughts, I appreciated the steady faith of others to hold me up.  Making genuine connections helped me feel emotionally safe and more secure. 

It can be hard to open up when life is absolutely upside down, but I knew that for my mind to feel calm and secure, I would need to be in environments that gave me space, felt welcoming, offered support, and encouraged me in faith.

Becoming more emotionally equipped also benefits from physical movement.  Taking care of our bodies has impact on our mental wellbeing.  I try to get sunlight, take a short walk, and intentionally move my body each day.  I turned to nutrition to nourish myself and paid attention to how much sleep I was getting.  By finding balance and taking care of myself physically, my brain has proper time to repair, reflect and relax.

Healthy thought patterns give us mental flexibility to respond instead of reacting. You might have every right in the world to be angry, frustrated, or want to defend a lack of justice.  However, impulsive responses almost never accomplish what we hope they will.

What helps me is to practice writing out my response and feelings, then going back to reread it later.  I challenge myself to reframe negative thoughts into positive actions.  This can sound like, “I have experienced this set-back and it’s harsh.  What I have learned is (insert lesson here).  While I cannot change or control this situation, I will do my best to make tomorrow brighter than today by (insert intention here).”

Another key component of building emotional resilience is to acknowledge your growth. 

Talk to yourself like a friend. 

I have found myself standing in front of my full-length mirror and I will give myself a pep talk.  “Hey girl, I’m proud of you today.  I know everything feels uncertain right now, and that’s scary.  This was super tough and I know you just want to fall apart.  I know it’s a heavy season and I’m proud of you for giving it your best.  We can do it again tomorrow, ok?  If it feels overwhelming, then reach out to a friend.  We’re going to pray about it tonight and connect with God on it. I know you’re strong, but we don’t have to carry it alone. I don’t want you to give up, ok?  We’re going to see it through. You can do this.”

Remember This

Despite how it feels, you are not falling apart.  Let me pause to give you a huge virtual hug and reassure you that you are not alone.  Did you feel it? 

Psalm 30 tells us that weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.  Despite the season that is crushing you and unraveling everything you knew, you are going to make it through. 

Right now, you are being strengthened—quietly, steadily, intentionally.  Even on the days it feels like nothing is changing.

I’m reminded of Sarah, Abraham’s wife, who trusted God even when the promise felt delayed.  Hebrews tells us she received her blessing, because she judged him faithful who promised.  (Read more of her story in Genesis 17 and Hebrews 11).

So keep going.

Show up again tomorrow.

Take the next small step.

Trust that what feels heavy today is building strength you will carry into your future.

You don’t have to do it perfectly—you just have to stay.

You’re stronger than this moment—and you’re not done yet.

I’m with you in this, friend. 💛

For Reflection

A Prayer for Today

Lord, You see the quiet work happening in me even when I don’t recognize it as strength. You see the effort it takes just to show up, to choose wisely, and to keep going when everything inside feels uncertain.

There are days I don’t feel strong at all, only tired, stretched, and unsure of what I’m becoming. Yet I trust that You are present in the process, gently shaping what I cannot yet see.

Help me stay steady in this season. Strengthen what is weary, anchor what feels unsteady, and remind me that what feels heavy today is not wasted—it is forming something lasting in me, in a way only you can do.

- Amen.

Not sure where to begin?

Healing isn’t rushed—and it isn’t meant to be done alone. Our Begin Again program was created for women navigating grief, divorce, disappointment, loss, and seasons when life has changed unexpectedly.

Start your healing journey today.